my shorts

Hola! from booful kimass land.  That's what our little village in SD is called on our way home from daycare everyday.  "Oh Momma!  Oh booful kimass!"  I will drive in circles, down every street I see even a hint of kimass lights, to hear his little voice exclaim the beauty of Christmas.  And when a block goes dark for a house or two?  "Oh no Momma!  Where kimass go?!?!"  Kimass, where are you?"  That voice...I win either way.


We hung probably the most amazing wreath ever at work today.  It was a gift to our company and honestly just stunning.   When it was finally up, I stood in the middle of a noon rush, coffee lovers on one side, road warriors on the other, and exclaimed "OH KIMASS!  IT BOOFUL!"  I can only believe I'm a joy to have around.  No picture here, but check out my other blog later:)


I'm thinking in shorts these days.  I'm feeling in shorts these days. By "shorts" I mean that I feel like I am moving along at mach speed, barely touching the surface of the earth.  It's all good, I feel joy and love and pride and accomplishment, but it's all just whizzing by.  And if I look back at the last year, it becomes a blur.  Life changing decisions were made, we took off on a great new adventure, left the city to make a home in a small town and couldn't take our people with us.  I look at us now and still know it was the right time and we are happy here.  But we are moving at mach speed. Which only leaves time for these shorts.


What the hell are "shorts"?  They are the moments when I feel deeply connected to what is going on around me.  Or when I recall a memory that lives so vividly in my mind and heart, that I can live in every minute detail when I bring to the front of my mind.  


I used to live in those connected moments all day, every day.  I maybe had a small disconnect here and there while at work, but even then my job as a Human Resources professional largely left me knee deep in moments with people, connecting with them.  But that is not what I'm talking about.  What I'm talking about is the fact that for a very long time, I was blessed with years and years... of seemingly endless moments of the planets aligning and everything always turning out perfect.  Feel free to vomit now.


I can tell you that was not the reality, but even in times when anyone would argue my life was swirling around the toilet bowl, I was connected to the meaning of what was happening, why it was happening and how it would turn out for the best.  There was always  some control, and therefore, always the ability to pause...connect...ponder the meaning...and move forward.


So when things outside my control started to happen, it messed up my mojo a bit.  


Over this last year, here on my little bloggity blog I've referred to these shorter moments as finding the "sparkle" again.  And maybe if you read my posts again, there are other metaphors for these shorts out there.  I'm sure.  But recently I've been thinking and feeling in short bursts so much I had to name the feeling. 


::
A birthday short:
I cannot stop thinking about my birthday.   I relive looking up from my Caribou "teaching and training" moment and seeing their faces and yelling "WHAT?!?!?!?"  And then crying and running. And the dancing and waking up knowing they were in my house.  The birthday dinner, the missed football game and happy hour beers, the perfect music mix which began with "Invincible" by Pat Benatar.  I yelled "oh Autumn...you HAVE to see the legend of Billy Jean!"  and having Barrett magically appear with it in his hand.  The tattoo.


Perfectly connected moments, like a higher power was orchestrating our every move.


I also kept the perfect birthday card.  
My sister in law brought it to work and I read it and laughed.  But later, when I read it again I thought...it's perfect.  It may be the most perfect card I've ever gotten.  So it sits... on my desk at home and I laugh every time I see it, and I show it people who come over.  And they agree that it is perfect.


Christmas shorts:
The daily drive home from daycare...or what I call "The Center".  I happily take the detour every day because his joy touches deep roots in my Christmas soul.  It feeds my holiday freak every day.


 


Oddly enough, wrapping presents late last night while my husband lay sick on the couch next to me also fell into the category of good stuff.  The Christmas freak and the nurturing wife freak were both getting their fix of connecting to a moment.  I love it when my husband needs me.  Like...really needs me.


Homemade gifts ground me. Even though I always...always end up in a hot mess of panicked all nighters, I see the finish line and know that handing over a hand made gift feels just slightly better.  The time I spend at a table crafting a gift is time I'm forced to slow down and re prioritize things.  It feels good to choose to get in over my head on a gift.

MAN DOWN AT THE CRAFTING TABLE!!!

 

Work/career shorts:
These are tough these days because it is this 50+ hours a week that is driving the faster than the speed of light bus.  It won't always be this way, but it will be for the next several years.  Here, there are mere seconds where I can pause and feel the roots dig in and connect to a task, or a work center, or an accomplishment.  But the second is over in a flash, replace by "great but...how do you make it better."  It's good.  It's tough...but it's good.


Family shorts:
Here is where I'm getting the most bang for my buck. My time with my daughters cannot fall into the "short" category.  These days, my Autumn Zoe and my Annika Willow are my roots.  The move  and the change that came with it have bonded us together in a way that resembles their infancy.  Right now, we are a team, every day, mother/daughters.  There is open and honest dialogue, openness to my advice, a need for each other to remind us of our roots, our beliefs, our sense of what is right and what is not.  Daily I feel Autumn reach out us for support when she is going to go against the norm at school and for now our support is all the strength she needs to stay true to herself.


   


For our  family, these are good, strong days. 




And then there is moving home, being near my parents, near my grandparents.  There really aren't words to describe how right that was, how necessary for all of us.  If you have been away from home for a spell, and are struggling with the thought of going back...do it.  Everything is temporary, you can always leave again.  But go home at least once.

And right now, in this very moment I'm uber connected.  It is reason #1 I blog...to sit quietly and contemplate this life I'm living.  I don't always publish what I write, but I always write.  And regardless of what comes out, I'm always more grateful for this life after I've spent some time here. 


Photo shorts ::


Oh the joys of little girls and little boys this time of year.

A perfect holiday short:  One night, as I'm drinking eggnog out of my new thrift shop holiday mug, Autumn says, "I wish I had a big fun mug to drink hot chocolate out of."

 

BOOM! Another thrift shop find.  It's a regular Christmas miracle.

Addiction short: Someday you will see me on Intervention as my family and friends desperately try to express how my addiction to little Laughing Cow cheeses has negatively effected them.  This photo is a cry for help.


It's the holiday season, time for me to dig in and stop with the shorts. Time to take the time to pause and connect.




 T minus 9 days until Christmas for us and however many days until you celebrate your seasonal connections. Dig in baby. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Cleaning up after the Frog Princess

When I woke from my 60 day couch coma, I was confronted with this:





For most of the time I was checked out, I assumed my little clan was cruising along on cleaning autopilot, staying on top of potential disasters. I belong to the "nip it in the bud" school of thought when it comes to cleaning and believed I had sent my entire family to this same school. What is the saying?  "never assume..."  In reality they belong more to the "wait until it becomes a problem" cleaning school.  


Also, it never dawned on me that all the couch cuddling I was demanding was taking away from not just my productivity, but theirs as well. I guess I thought that after I passed out at 9pm, they were meeting in the kitchen and dutifully executing house work. And to be fair, they must have been a little, because the well worn path I took from door, to desk, to kitchen and finally couch looked pretty good. Clearly they know my hot spots and took great care to make sure I didn't have to stress about what I could easily see. But the rest of the house...


I could have taken similar photos of any room off the beat and path. And the laundry...oh my stars. The only way I can ensure not cussing a blue streak when discussing the laundry is to go totally poly anna and throw out things like "oh my stars."


In typical type A fashion, I decided the house in shambles had presented us with some great opportunities, teaching moments if you will.  Don't you wish your mom/wife was an HR professional?  In the mess, there were lessons to be learned about:

• Team building
• Organization
• Giving to others via donating...lots and lots of donating
• Time management
• Sanitation (gag)
• Food safety (double super gag...I'm not sure what it was)
• Patience
• Humility
• Kindness...wait...what?

Turns out when your family is trying their hardest to manage a household in the manner you would, it's not very kind to point out every moment they fall short of the glory. It's not very patient to skip over all the things they did do... to point out what they did not. And it takes a great deal of humility to return to your house after walking out in a huff, to hug your husband and say "I love you" and acknowledge that his priorities do not need to mirror yours.  And that even though it may not be my cleaning style, he and the girls did give it a shot:) 


I thought I was "back." I was.. only like the Terminator "I'm back", not the good kind. The terminator wasn't in control for very long, but while it was...EEEEK!  It's hard to admit you are wrong, especially when you are sort of right. But as hard as it may be, I know when I'm wrong and I needed put on my big girl pants and let the girls see an adult apologize, sincerely apologize. So I did and they responded with smiles and new found enthusiasm for getting our home back in order.   We are one week strong with no laundry piled up, tidy (ish) tween bedrooms and floors not adorned with "dog hair" throw rugs:)  NOW I'm back, with the good stuff. 


BONUS to cleaning up 2 months worth of randomly discarded stuff? You can find treasures.   Like the heartfelt poetry of a 10 year old frog princess (I've translated on the right for those of you who don't happen to speak 5th grade spelling very well)



Little miss Annika has a fairly wicked case of dyslexia, so for a very long time she hated reading and writing and flat out refused to even attempt either.  Grammy pants introduced her to Dick and Jane books and pretty bags of books with cool lights and kitty cat book marks...and her whole world changed.  I tried to make it intellectual, Grandma made it awesome.  And look at her now, a poet.


And an artist.

I'm dying for this to be me!!  I need spring and grass and to run around in my favorite skirts and apron with ugly gardening shoes...and a flower in my hand.  

Now instead of begging her to throw away old notebooks, I'm begging her to let me page through them for more treasures, more soul soothing words of wisdom from my Frog Princess.


Other little tidbits of yumminess:


Baby boy...in boy blue...eating blue berries for breakfast.








Watching Annika interview my Dad over the interwebs.





Stolen moments on the kitchen floor after dinner clean up.  Nerf gun = boys bonding.






Stolen moments on the dinning room floor after monster cookies.  Sugar rush + Cars = fun with sisters.



I'm planning some pretty fantastic stolen moments for this weekend!  Some spontaneous, craaazy moments beginning with...skipping work today:P  More to come. In the meantime, you should do something spontaneous and unpredictable today too...it's Friday!


* After posting edit...whatever you do on this blessed Friday, please squeeze in some prayer for the people of Japan.  If not prayer, then whatever you do to throw positive, healing energy out into the universe:)