fricka - leader of the nerd herd: July 2011

Here is an interesting little thing I've learned about me and my kids since my loving husband has moved to South Dakota ahead of us. Without his patriarchal presence, there are no boundaries when it comes to the momma's personal space. My bed, my bathroom, the 1 foot space behind my office chair...are all open game to a child placing themselves in the space around me. It is simultaneously beautiful and maddening.

I hate not having my husband present. I had forgotten how crazy I am without him to calm me down and give me some perspective. When we are together, it's ying and yang baby. This life we have created, runs well only when we are a team. Everything is overwhelming when going it alone. Well not everything...but clogged sinks, drippy outside faucet are. Water features with broken pumps that now appear to only function as a breeding ground for mosquitoes make me feel as if the wheels are falling off the bus. Because normally, he would be here to work his boy magic and I wouldn't have to worry about them.

I want my husband back. I want my wife gig back!

I remind my self that in three weeks this will all be over. We will be together, in our new home (goosebumps!) And when that happens there will be part of me that misses the anticipation, the excitement and adrenaline that goes with big change like this. The house in Vermillion is like the mother of all Christmas presents...just waiting to be unwrapped. And I'm the little girl that sneaks down every morning to shake it, trying to figure out what exactly is inside. I don't know yet what our stuff looks like in that house or what our lives will look like, but I soon will.

I'll take what's behind door #624 Monty!

At whats coming...well it's almost more than I can wrap my head around. For the first time in my adult life, I will be living near my mom. She will be living less than an entire day's drive from her grandbabies. There will be pop ins and calls that go something like "hey we are going for a walk after dinner, wanna come?" The pictures here will completely change. We will be interwoven into the fabric our each other's daily lives. Yup...can't wrap my head around it.

In the meantime, I'm all over the map, trying to stay organized on all fronts. Work, babies, house, packing, new house, new job. What is getting lost in all this is time for this blog, which is fine, it's a hectic time. But all this stress, excitement and change only creates more thoughts, more things to say. But there is no time and all day long I think of things to write, tuck them away into a safe part of my brain. And just as I suspected those many months ago, they often disappear as I lose the nightly battle with sleep, crawling from my desk chair to the office couch.

My "edit posts" page is an outstanding list of two to three sentence observations, designed to trigger some blog post I stored away. Reading them alone is hilarious. When summer is over and life starts to settle into a quiet, peaceful, South Dakota routine, it will be fun to see if those blurbs inspire the blog posts they are intended to. Or will they simply be random thoughts, discarded for newer, shinier ones?

This summer's soundtrack is made up of The Tallest Man on Earth, Bon Iver, Feist and Fitz & The Tantrums. I <3 life soundtracks. Life soundtracks are my absolute favorite. The organic way the music weaves itself into the fabric of your life. For that snapshot in time, it is permanently part of the memory. Fire up a little Hall & Oats and I'm mowing the lawn at the farm with my first walkman on. Aldo Nova...and I'm choreographing my first dance...on roller skates. Aldo Nova = frozen Charleston chews and bright white skates with a pink puff on the toe. Sheriff "When I'm With You" = totally devastating junior high love. Radio dedications and slow dancing so close you melt into each other. ~sigh~

This topic needs it's own blog post.

So the soundtrack to the summer is in place and the slide show in my head...the flickering reel to reel of the summer of 2011 looks like this:

It's all there. The long cold spring, packing, grandma visits, birthday, clearance end cap pools and interpretive dance in the kitchen. The official drink of the summer of 2011 is the Leinenkugel's Summer Sampler Pack...cans. Because they stay cooler longer in the summer. Who knew?

The one year anniversary of The Nerd Herd blog is approaching. I miss those lazy days of spare time and emotional purging via blogger. I miss pausing and feeling...communicating. I will be so pleased when the constant tasking is over. Feeling and not just doing. It's happened here and there this summer. We will find a few more of those moments I'm sure.

I know better than to wish time away. Even in turmoil, there is beauty.