Before I lay me down to sleep...

Why am I awake at 10pm?  A question for the ages.  My alarm, be it Liam or the clock will wake me up at 5am, with no regard with how I spent my time the night before.  Ruthless.  I sit here in the brutal light of my computer, the always present faux waves in the background on the baby monitor, inspired but tired.  I wonder how many truly inspired works of art we never see because they live in the minds of tired mothers.  Mothers who pause in the midst of the whirlwind of their day and think a single, clear, poetic though to be written, photographed or sung later, only to tuck it away in their dreams as they pass out on the couch at the end of the day.  While this blog may not qualify as an inspired work, it is often my only clear thought for the day and more often than not, it gets tucked in at night, never to see the light of day.  Tonight though, I am toughing it out to give Internet life to photos that make me smile.

This photo makes me exceedingly happy because it contains what I believe to be some absolute requirements for a content life...books, and a little red rocking chair.

This is Liam's space, my little book worm.  Anywhere he can spread out his books, becomes the most exciting place in the universe for him...and me. 

For him right now, the world exists in two places:  the arms of his family as we connect the monkey noise with the monkey face and in books.  God bless him.

For Annika, who is on the brink of so many difficult and wonderful changes, her room is her sanctuary.   A place where a 10 year old girl can take off her training bra and still play with her baby dolls.  A place where a laptop and old coloring books can live in harmony. 

A place where a girl can invite her 13 month old brother, her mom and her dad in to play animals.

And who doesn't love to play animals? 

I take a fair amount of crap about being over protective of my girls.  I have been accused of raising very smart, but nerdy kids.  Funny, but slightly inappropriate.  They know about the world and in fact have a better than average understanding of politics, religion, sex and the world they live in.  Logic & reason balanced with passion and curiosity.   Yet we don't allow them to watch cable news, or even much tv at all.  They don't have facebooks, and they spend a TON of time with their family.  Oh and they have daily & weekly chores.  Oh the horror!!!

And when Autumn's OCD mom isn't making her clean out her closet...what is my stunning 13 year old doing?  

Knitting & sewing of course.  Just like all 13 year old girls in the city........no?

It's difficult to capture the elusive 13 year old on film.  They are like vampires and a good picture of me...nearly impossible to catch a glimpse of.   I can tell you this, she was there when I made the salsa this weekend. 

When it comes to cooking, baking, canning...she is always there with her hair in a ponytail and an apron on, begging to learn how.  "How does great Grandma make those brownies?"  "How do you can salsa and pickles?"  "How do you just make up recipes mom?"  She is in my most peaceful space, my shadow, making me feel like a master chef, when really, I'm just winging it.

Almost everything that is important happens in my  kitchen.  The most heartfelt, life changing conversations I've ever had with my baby girls have happened in my kitchen, this one in particular as they have become young women in this house.  

I found out I was pregnant in this kitchen.  I left the stick on the bathroom counter and instructed my husband to look  as I was sick of seeing negative pregnancy tests.  It was in my kitchen that he laughed and smiled....and I jumped into his arms.
 

I love my stove and think my dishwasher is sexy.  But at the moment, I have a wicked crush on my kitchen windows. 

My mom knows how to shop for me better than I do:)  See the blue bird house out there on the fence?  Autumn made that.

There are so many spaces in our house that deserve a photograph and a story.  But for tonight, they are coming to bed with me, victims of the sleepy.   It's now 10:58pm and I am on the brink of turning into a pumpkin.